LETTER to MY NEW GIRLFRIEND….

Hi Love,

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Its just a month since we met,So far,we have had great fun…You’v been
great,fun,interesting ,loving,lovely and lovable …And Hey,am still in LOVE with You…
BUT :
You gotta accept a few
FACTS and WATCH
a few habits….
BEFORE You came into My life,I was a Rugby fan,I used to go watch a game EVERY WEEKEND with my boys…in the pub,cheering and celebrating my team.,AND You have to
accept THAT FACT! You have NO right whatsoever to start pulling Me away from Rudge! The FACT that I Love You doesn’t mean I have started HATING my team! Am still the same Man,same Rudge lover AND ANYTIME there is a match ,I EXPECT that you will behave yourself AND LET ME BE ME! After  all,I will ONLY watch a match for 80 minutes AND spend the rest seconds,minutes,hours,days,months and years with You! Be Fair!

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I love my bottle…..I am NOT a drunkard ,not an alcoholic but I love my occasional cold beer….DON’T try changing Me,DON’T try turning me into some Arch- Bishop… Its my beer,You met me with it…If You want to enjoy this relationship,BETTER let me enjoy my beer….After all,You told Me You Love Me,You didn’t say You Love the SOBER Me!
I have Ex-girlfriends! THAT’S A FACT! Better live with it darling! Quit asking how many they are because,truth is,I WILL LIE. Yes,av had a couple bitches here n there, I’ve
banged a couple pussies here and there BUT atleast I stil have my heart! And my D!
So,STOP bothering me with the “Ex” questions,YES,I had them,I did them,I
banged them,I loved some of them BUT its over NOW! They are in my PAST, So STOP
bringing them Up! Hey,I am NOT Father Teresa! I have boyfriends!  Crazy,weird,noisy,mouthy and sometimes annoying Boyfriends!  YOU BETTER ACCEPT THEM! I met them before You,I’ve been through shit with them,thru hell with them!
They are an extension of Me! I hang out with them,laugh with them,joke with them
n share with them! Hating them WONT make Me Love You more! Accept my boyfriends AND be friends with them coz,whether You like it or not,those Motherfuckers are here to stay!!! I DONT have to remember Everythng! I am NOT a teleprompter! I am human. I can
forget dates…Birthday dates,Anniversary or any stupid date,Its called being a Man. So,stop acting up every-time I forget a date,You should thank God I haven’t forgotten You! Its Your job to be neat always. NOT MINE. Finding dirty socks on my gas cooker is as normal as Harambee Stars losing a match and Arsenal not winning trophies season in season out! Live with It. I LOVE SEX. That’s Me. A Man. So,STOP pretending that you are surprised that am always horny for You…its normal.Given a chance,I would do it ANYTIME,ANYWHERE…so,better STOP denying me that cookie! DONT blame Me,trace it back to the biblical King Solomon. My D is my D! The size is my size! You either appreciate it or LEAVE me! I wont sit here n watch You complaining about my D! Its NOT about how DEEP I can go in You,its about how DEEP my love for you Is. Sometimes I cum fast,sometimes I stay longer! Its being a MAN! So,stop whining and acting up everytime I cum too quick! You should thank God I CAME! That means You are too awesome to DELAY ! After all,Its NOT about how long I can last in bed,its about how LONG this relationship will last!!! But Hey, DONT BE FOOLED! Sometimes I can last longer than the some DJ You like! Try Me! DONT EVER compare Me with Your Ex. If he was sooo good,what THE FUCK are You doing with Me??? If am good in bed,SPREAD the word to Your girlfriends…and sisters….and female cousins…..If am poor,SPREAD the word to Me….I’ll do something about it… Never attack me verbally in public! Never Ever! Its a crime! We are Lovers,NOT Politicians. My phone IS my phone. The stuff that goes on there is crazier than a XtianDela TV! Leave it alone!
Oh,and NEVER answer my calls! Ever! If they wanted to talk to You,they would have called You instead! If I have the money,we’ll spend it. If am broke…Sit down and pray for Me. Dont start Acting Up because my wallet is empty! Hey,I came into Your life to LOVE YOU, Not to bail you out! ALWAYS REMEMBER, I came to attend to Your heart affairs,NOT FINANCIAL AFFAIRS! I am Your Boyfriend! Not Bill Gates!!! But just know I Love You
Love,
Abu McOgutu.

16 thoughts on “LETTER to MY NEW GIRLFRIEND….

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