Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The best amongst you are the ones who are best to their wives.” So dear Muslim brother! Your obligations towards your wife are not limited to earning money and supporting her financially. A wife needs love from her husband, and emotional support too!
Here are 10 points to take into account..
1) DRESS UP FOR YOUR WIFE:- look clean and smell good. Remember that our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2) CALL HER WITH THE SWEETEST NAMES:- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt her feelings. Love her unconditionally for the sake of Allah.
3) REWARD HER ACTIONS:- Recognise all the good that she does and focus on that. Whenever there is a fight or argument, just remember all the things she does for you. she cooks for you, she takes care of your home, she takes care of your children and the most important thing is that she guards her modesty. So do not upset her if she is upset with you. Only your love can repel her anger. Communicate with her and discuss with her if there are any misunderstandings.
4) REMAIN SILENT:- If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways our Prophet (peace be upon him) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives. Do not criticise her all the time. If she is doing something that you don’t like, or that goes against the teachings of Islam, then do advice her gently.
5) SMILE:- Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Tell her often that you are very happy and blessed to have her. A wife always wonder how her husband feels about her. She may have some insecurity about you, so make her feel secure.
6) ACKNOWLEDGE HER:- Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Remember, in Islam, everyday is special. So celebrate wife’s day with her, and do it very often without having a particular date.
7) TAKE CARE OF HER DURING HER PREGNANCY AND BREASTFEEDING:- Offer extra moral and physical support during these difficult phases in her life. Don’t feel your manly ego busted if you have to give the baby its bottle or pacify it, while she attends to an older child or her own genuine needs. Be a alert and hands-on father; this attribute will make her love you even more!
8) VALIDATE HER FEELINGS:- Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. If there is a time of sadness, give her your shoulder to cry on. Hold her and tell her that everything will be fine.
9) HAVE FUN:- Be humorous and play games with her. Take our Prophet (peace be upon him) would race his wife Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) in the desert. She appreciates a husband with a good sense of humour, one that tells her decent and modest jokes to make her smile. Indulge in playing various games with the kids and involve her too.
10) BE THE BEST HUSBAND:- Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him): “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.”
She is your best friend, girlfriend and soul mate. Share everything with her. Remember she is your garment and you are her garment, so hide her faults and mistakes. Learn to forgive her. Respect her parents and show your love to her family. This will inspire her to love and respect your family. If her family is not muslim, do dawah to them in a beautiful way.
……….And most importantly spend lots of time praying to Allah (during night & day). Do fast often even if it is not Ramadan. Lead her in the prayer. There is nothing better than praying together. Remember Allah, so that Allah remembers you……….
May Allah bless every marriage.. Aameen