I have always Been in long distance relationships, most of them by the way if not all of them and I Have learnt alot about the Long Distance Relationship compared to The Close Distance Relationship. Also After being Challanged by My ‘Crush’ who Resides on the Other Side of The World 😂 I Have decided to Speak Up for those who are Planning to Start this kind of Relationship.
So To Understand the two kinds of relationships then I have decided to try and differentiate between long distance relationship and close distance relationship and which is preferable, I have tried to illustrate the Two using Money and Saving 😂.
Long distance relationship is like keeping money in the bank for future purpose, you’ve given the bank permission to make use of your money for the mean time and you can never get the exact notes you kept when you need your money, the advantage is just that you will get your money when you need it remember it’s not the notes you kept but the ones deposited by another persons but the money have more value because it may take a while before you withdraw it for your needs.
close distance relationship is like keeping money inside safebox (Home Banks ), you monitor your money yourself, you only have the access to open it when you need your money and you will get the exact notes you kept but it may not have value because the safebox itself is with you and you can break it just because you are broke and when you break it repeatedly, it becomes unsafe, then, if you keep your money, another person can steal some without you noticing and that’s worst because if you later finds out, you will stop using safebox and rather spending your money as you see it.
So, long distance relationship (keeping your Bae in a distance, forget anything that she may be doing or where she may be and get your Bae later when you are ready) or close distance relationship (keep your Bae close, when you are in the mood, fuck her and when you do that repeatedly, she becomes what you didn’t want her to be then you become bored with her then you Leave her/break up with her. Understood ?
The irrational need to possess our partner or jealousy towards other people in our partner’s life or the imagined people in it, can destroy any relationship. Long distance relationships are especially vulnerable to the onslaught of any actions based in a lack of self-confidence. You really need to believe in yourself; at least that you are or can be more desirable than anyone else around your partner. This attitude is helpful to have in any form of relationships; if you know who you are and see yourself in a fairly good light, then other people automatically see you there too. Good self-esteem is critical to a long distance relationship especially because of the fact that you do not in truth know what your partner is up to when you are not around. But again, this remains a reality even for those who live in the same home together too. So accepting that you honestly cannot control someone else is half the battle. The rest of it has to do with honesty, first to yourself, and then cultivating that in your partnership.
Ask the question: do I believe my special friend has my trust? If truthfully you can answer yes, then wonderful, you must be creating the right blend of communication that allows for spontaneity, honesty and intimacy to flourish in your relationship. If not, why? If not, is it because your partner has demonstrated that there may be other interests besides you? When that is true, then let the person meet or date other people as you get to know one another better. At some point your friend may discover you are more enjoyable to be with then any of the other folks around.
That is providing that you have not brow beaten your friend into a premature obligatory commitment – usually resulting in the other person thinking that they either have to keep other potential relationships a secret so not to offend or loose their partner’s interest or stay away from any kind of communication involving people in their local area especially someone of the same gender as or having similar characteristics to their lover. Placing these limitations on a partnership can inevitably leave the person socially frustrated, feeling lonely and sends a dangerous message that your partner is held way too accountable for your insecurities. Communicating that your partner must stay away from anyone that you deem a potential risk to the relationship will never produce the desired results in assuring your trust in that person. If anything, this displaced self-responsibility or “easy-out” solution will only sets up precedence for more dishonesty and distrust down the line furthermore harboring suspicion and breeding a ripe environment for more unpleasant secrets.
It’s obviously rare to accept this fact, but if you’ve not been in a long distance relationship and you are planning to get into one, then you should definitely be prepared for the worst.
You may conceive a factual rationale that it may start out wonderfully, yes your claims might hold authenticity, but eventually, it’s certain, things will go down hill not up hills as you may expect, which makes for some of the most difficult experiences ever. No matter how confident you are and how stubborn she is, it’s rare for it to hold grands and work out.
Am so so sorry for hitting you hard from the onset, i crave your indulgence, just read on.
In the western culture or any other part of the world, the cell phone is the cap imediator holding the sinking grands of long distance relationship. The relationship might appear to work from it basis with regular phone calls or the late night chats, but later on this could get really frustrating due to the repeative process with out visible atestable facial expression. This frustration a times leads to fight, which inturn leads to break-up alas.
Long distance relationship obviously required a lot of trust. Your significant other is in another place altogether. If you are some one who can’t trust the other person very easily but pretends to trust when speaking on phone call or through cyber space, then my friend, you’re goin to be suspicious about anything that happens at the other lane.
For example, if you call her repeatedly and she doesn’t answer your call, you will immediately jump to conclusion that she is cheating on you.
It’s also very very crucial to note that; the amount of anxiety in a distance relationship is maddening. You have no or less idea on what your loved one is doing on the other side of the phone. You have no idea on what he or she likes doing often, the friends he or she minggles with of cause humans are bound to be social, and all this makes the situation very dangerous and creates a high level of stress and anxiety.
One among the most essential things considered in relationship is the power of one on one proper communication. There is no proper communication in distance relationship. Text messages alone cannot serve, it cause alot of miscommunications.
There are times when humor could be mistaken for attitude while a serious message might be misread as sarcasm. They are just words on a screen which make it impossible to interpret the tone that the person who sent it was trying to convey.
I wanna end by saying, long distance relationship are played by far more problems than the gut-wrenching pain of seperation itself. In fact, research has shown that ‘distance’ isn’t the hardest part of a long distance relationship at all.
The real challenge implicit within the long distance relationship is the discrepancy between your expectations for the relationship and the reality of your current situation. It is within the “gap” between these dual ends of the long distance dynamic that all the long distance relationship problems vacillate.
Make a Good Choice and see what kind of Relationship best suits You.